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[Wednesday
March 5th, 2008
11:23pm] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) nestlemerina
is my new livejournal.
i added most of you on there, so if you haven't accepted or if i didn't add you, DO IT.
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| courtney wanted to know because she obviously doesnt know me |
[Monday
December 10th, 2007
11:07pm] |
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you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX (aka "The Loyalist"). "I am affectionate and skeptical" Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative. How to Get Along with Me - Be direct and clear.
- Listen to me carefully.
- Don't judge me for my anxiety.
- Work things through with me.
- Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
- Laugh and make jokes with me.
- Gently push me toward new experiences.
- Try not to overreact to my overreacting.
What I Like About Being a SIX - being committed and faithful to family and friends
- being responsible and hardworking
- being compassionate toward others
- having intellect and wit
- being a nonconformist
- confronting danger bravely
- being direct and assertive
What's Hard About Being a SIX - the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
- procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
- fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
- exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
- wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
- being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations
SIXes as Children Often - are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
- are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
- form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
- look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
- are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent
SIXes as Parents - are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
- are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
- worry more than most that their children will get hurt
- sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries
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[Tuesday
December 4th, 2007
4:49pm] |
i 'm sad.
all the time.
for quite a while now.
i don't know why and it upsets me that this is so.
i feel like i'm only half there all the time; in school, at work, out with friends.
i keep trying to just keep everything to myself. how i'm feeling, what i'm thinking, who i'm thinking about, everything...obviously i'm not very good at it.
hopefully i'll get better.
then it'll be back to me knowing me best...not that it's ever been like that in the first place.
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[Monday
December 3rd, 2007
1:10am] |
i dont know how i feel or what i think about anything right now.
it's quite unsettling, but there is no way out.
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[Wednesday
November 21st, 2007
6:10pm] |
it'd be sweet if i didnt feel like shit every day.
yeah...
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[Thursday
October 25th, 2007
10:46pm] |
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i feel like everyone else is in the fast lane
and my car just stalled.
i just feel like life is totally passing my by and everyone else is having the time of their lives and leaving me behind.
i've been feeling like shit for weeks and its really awesome. especially when theres nothing really wrong.
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[Monday
October 22nd, 2007
10:15pm] |
i'm completely losing it.
i've managed to convince myself that the only reason boys are ever attracted to me, if at all, is because of my size. which is currently changing for the worse and it's freaking me out.
also, i still havent finished college apps...guess i'm not going...
work sucks so badly, i cant even describe it. i'm pretty much just waiting around to see what my raise will be. i feel bad quitting before christmas but i just dont know how much more i can handle.
the weirdest and insignificant shit gets me down. not even worth tracing back.
okay. awesome.
gonna go write some of the 15 journals i've managed to neglect. like i even have real classes.
i am so on top of things.
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[Wednesday
October 10th, 2007
3:08pm] |
nothing feels right.
i've got nothing going for me.
too much nothing.
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[Monday
October 1st, 2007
11:49pm] |
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I feel like shit.
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[Sunday
September 9th, 2007
11:28pm] |
my lips taste like rubbing alcohol. i have no idea why. every few seconds i lick them again with the hopes of the bitterness being gone. with each time i get more distressed at the fact that it is still there. would it be too cliche to say thats my life? i cant tell whether i'm the new try hoping or if i'm the bitterness bringing myself down.
frankly, i feel like shit.
fuck it. i'm sick of being alone. i'm sick of the unfillable void i feel all day and every day. shit, if i'm sick of being alone now, this life is going to be a long one because i have a feeling that that wont ever change.
i'm sick of boosting egos and belittling myself. he thinks he so great that everyone wants his fucking balls. sweet job of me to go apparently making it obvious that i have a crush on him. there you go sir, another girl wants you. well fuck that. i doubt you're half as great as you think you are. and the other him. the him of the summer. you and your godly bullshit. who the fuck are you trying to kid. playing girls and thinking you're fooling god by keeping your dick out of some girl, fuck you. you are an indecent and immoral person. you having morals is like me being the bj champion. i'll probably regret this. but what do i not regret? if only i could keep track...
god. i am just so sick of everyone.
i wish i wasn't as cynical as i've become.
i need a fucking break.
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[Monday
August 27th, 2007
10:13am] |
Hey you. You want there to be a falling out? Well too bad, we're best friends, we'll work it out, and things will be back to normal if not better. So suck it.
Hah, I almost just typed I'll call you when I get home from school. Ew.
But really, Courtney, I'll call you on my way from work or something.
Um. Dirtfest for the most part was boring but I had a really good time towards the endish. Bonez idiots made me LOL and I almost saw one of their vaginas. Shorter skirts next time, eh?
I'm sad that my last week of summer I'm working my ass off.
Even though I don't want to go back to school, being back in school will help me save up some money which I desperately need to do.
I'm in a better mood than yesterday, for right now...I haven't gone to work yet so I dunno how long this'll last.
Yesterday, after only being there for like 10 minutes I got yelled at like 3-4 times. Ugh.
Whatever.
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| crushcrushcrush |
[Thursday
August 23rd, 2007
2:33am] |
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2-3-4!
when do i not have a crush?
i'm a pathetic shell of what was once a human being/=.
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[Monday
August 6th, 2007
3:13pm] |
my sleeping is off.
i can be exhausted and still not be able to fall asleep.
i end up tossing and turning and waking up at odd hours of the night.
now i'm super tired and work is going to suck.
the most random and weird shit is getting me down lately.
often.
and like...really upset.
don't know whyyyyyyyyyy.
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[Friday
August 3rd, 2007
1:51pm] |
i'm full on going crazy.
just looking at me or talking to me you wouldn't have the slightest clue.
but get into my head and you'll be clawing your way out.
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[Sunday
July 29th, 2007
3:56pm] |
my brain hurts.
all my thoughts and feelings are a tangled mess.
didn't sleep because my mind wasn't as ready to rest as i was. so that's pretty cool.
it's also pretty cool that when i get home my mom loves to ask me questions about what my away message is about. um, i'm pretty sure if i wanted to talk to her about it i would. and i don't. so she should kindly leave me the fuck alone.
ugh. maybe that's just because i'm already irritated.
i love my bffz though.
:)
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[Thursday
July 26th, 2007
2:23pm] |
I feel like shit really sucks right now.
balance in checking account: $1.92
savings: $ 24.60
wow. good job, rina.
everything going on now and the next week is supposed to be great.
too bad i'm stuck on thinking about the stuff that isn't so nice.
i'm a broke-ass, lonely-ass, irresponsible, pathetic motherfucker.
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[Tuesday
July 3rd, 2007
7:03pm] |
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freaking the fuck out
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[Sunday
June 3rd, 2007
9:30pm] |
if life were a sport,
i'd be on the bench.
i feel so weird. so shitty. and i dont know why. and i dont know how to make myself feel better. or even what is wrong in the first place. i guess not knowing the issue could be an obstacle in finding the solution.
i feel like i'm drifting from everyone and into an alternate reality, an even shittier one.
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[Sunday
May 27th, 2007
2:11am] |
The taste of your lips says we shouldn't have met like
I can keep a secret if you can keep me guessing,
The flavor of your lips is enough to keep me pressing,
for more than just a moment of truth between the lies told,
to pull ourselves away from the lives we leave back home
I can keep a secret if you can keep me guessing,
The flavor of your lips is enough to keep me here
-ATL
gaaaaaaaaaaaaah. i dont know what to think.
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[Sunday
May 20th, 2007
6:34pm] |
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nothing feels right right now.
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